Because He Lives

Because He lives,
I can face tomorrow.
Because He lives,
All fear is gone.
Because I know,
He holds the future.
And life is worth the living,
Just because He lives.

This seems to be my theme song lately…especially those last two phrases. I’ve caught myself humming it in the middle of the grocery store, at work, or while I’m slaving over a big meal I’m preparing (ok…that last one is not true at all. I don’t really cook…but that’s not the point of this blog).

“Because I know He holds the future” – I know He holds the future, but to be honest there are days (most days) where I doubt. I doubt His perfect plan. I doubt his goodness. I just flat out doubt.

I feel like this has been a common theme in my life. Before I met Scott, I doubted I would ever marry a man who would put up with me. (Little did I know God had the most selfless, patient, caring, giving, and loving man for me). Once we started dating, I knew I wanted to marry him, but I doubted it would ever happen. I doubted we would ever get engaged or have a lasting marriage. Like I said, doubt was/is a common theme in my life. Fast forward to almost five years of marriage, and we have walked through some pretty tough times and some amazing times. God has been so faithful, and He has proved Himself time and time again. Yet, I still doubt.

You know the disciple Peter? I get him. He gets me. When I read his stories in Scripture, we bond.
Here’s why: He saw Jesus do miraculous things, yet he still doubted. You know the story… the one where Jesus was walking on water. (We all know it, and skim over that story because we know what happens in the end…Oh…is that just me? Oops.) It has become one of my favorite stories. Jesus stretched out His hand to Peter commanding him to trust him and walk on water. Peter’s initial reaction was to trust Jesus when he saw that He was walking on water, BUT as soon as the winds came and the water got rough, he was afraid. He doubted and began to sink.

“Jesus immediately reached out his hand and took hold of him,
saying to him, ‘O you of little faith. Why do you doubt?’ ”
Matt 14:31

This is me. I fully trust God’s plan, until things get rocky and rough. I am fully trusting until things don’t go the way I planned. How foolish.

If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. But let him ask in faith, WITH NO DOUBTING, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. For that person must not suppose that he will receive anything from the LORD; he is a double-minded man unstable in all ways.
James 1:5-7

Excuse me. Did James just call me unstable?

That’s exactly what I am. I am still learning what it looks like to trust in His plan, and not doubt His goodness when life gets ugly and hard. If those rough waters are what it takes to make my faith more stable, then I must accept them and allow God to do His work in me.

So many Christians are walking through the darkest times, and no one knows. We don’t want to be vulnerable. We don’t want to expose our wounds, or reopen our wounds. Oh friend, find someone you trust who will encourage every step through your ugly moments, your best moments, and the moments when you need to be put in your place. So many of us are walking through silent struggles, and I plan to unfold a lot of my journey in the next few blog posts. It just may take a few posts to get that real with the world wide web.

Just know, you’re not alone!

Back to Peter and the water situation: I want to end with my favorite part of the story…”Immediately, Jesus reached out and took hold of his hand” Even in our doubting, Jesus is there to immediately grab our hand, comfort us, and remind us we are not alone. We just have to be willing to keep our eyes on him and not doubt.

Because I know He holds the future, and life is worth the living just

BECAUSE HE LIVES.