Jesus Knows

by Ellie

I first wrote about our infertility journey a little over a year ago, but here’s a bit of a re-fresher for the newbies with our adoption journey mixed in.

“Jesus Knows.”

A simple phrase I have found myself repeating during the last several years.

My husband Scott and I just celebrated 6 years of marriage. In my perfect world, we would already have 2 (maybe 3) kids. We began trying shortly after our 3rd anniversary. I thought I would be just like everyone else and get pregnant quickly. It didn’t take long for me to realize my story wouldn’t be “just like everyone else” — Or that “everyone else” didn’t necessarily have it as easy as I assumed they did.

A Time to Refocus

Journey/Life

January 21, 2017

by Ellie

Here we are, 6 months after posting the most vulnerable blog to date. In October, we hit the 2 year mark…

Connecting the Disconnected

Journey/Life

September 14, 2016

by Ellie

If I were to let you peek into my brain the last month it would look a lot like this blog…because let’s be honest…I don’t keep a journal, otherwise I would’ve said “this is an excerpt directly from my journal pages”. I don’t have the endurance to write my thoughts out like that. That’s exhausting…and typing is faster. Here is where I’ve been the last month, and figuring out how to connect what seems disconnected is really challenging me. You know those truths that you’ve heard all of your life…and those little nuggets of truth you use to give advice to others. “God is faithful” “God’s timing is perfect” “God is good” “God uses our suffering to bring Him glory” “God is sovereign” “God will never leave you or forsake you” “God will meet all of your needs” I could go on and on and on with those short phrases. Here’s where my problem is… I know these phrases, and I believe them…but only when times aren’t hard. I know God is good, but I convince myself He is good only when things are smooth sailing. This journey of infertility has made me question every aspect that I’ve ever “known” […]

It’s Okay to be Vulnerable

Journey

July 12, 2016

by Ellie

Let me begin by saying that this blog has been many, many months in the making. I have battled in my mind over and over as to whether or not I should post this. As each day has passed, I have come up with a different excuse as to why I shouldn’t post it. Why have I been so hesitant?

Blog Newbie

Journey/Miscellaneous

May 12, 2016

by Ellie

Why hello there. Welcome to my new blog. Yes, you read that right. I’m starting (for the second time) a blog. I started one of these a while ago and it lasted about two blogs…so here’s to hoping this one lasts longer. *fingers crossed* I spend much of my day thinking. As soon as I wake up…ok that’s a little exaggerated…20(ish) minutes after I wake up, my mind starts racing. Actually…mornings aren’t my thing, so maybe this analogy isn’t exactly accurate. Let’s restart: At some point each day, usually mid-morning, my brain is in full swing. I’m learning how often my thoughts create mental outcomes which, 99% of the time, never become reality. I worry about the craziest things. I overthink and stress over conversations I’ve had throughout the day. I get knots in my stomach when I know I might have made someone mad. My thoughts have so much power in my life. Some would call this anxiety. Yikes. Bottom line, I’m always thinking. I’ve never been one to truly express what I’m feeling deep deep DEEP down. I never really share the ugly, vulnerable, real stuff that is going on. I share what’s bothering me, but only the surface […]